that such as annoy!!

I hope that will not happen,but even this year,this matter still going on~!
my mind is thinking that this is the God play my fool or anything?or that such like want me to learn something~I can talk to you that really annoying!#.#
every year ,this will happen on my life~that is because my life like a movie,that really want me to learn something what is the right and false...I'm always be the test and the brick,none one can know why I need so pain about it?I really inspire to ask why I must be the better guy and cannot do anything that is false...I hate~!!!!!
I borrow some book to my friends and my friends say I m a fool!idiot~!!!I think I'm right,this is because if I can borrow them,at least they got complete the work...but if I don't ever borrow them,that will not complete and they will say:haiz...no need done it la~!I want they learn even that uncompleted,or copy from my hand..at least they got the memory,very little memory~and I admire that I 'm false..because I borrow my friend a book(a set of paper,like a book.)and I fold it...and make some note...and today(I borrow yesterday),I borrow it to another gal,my friend start to annoy and I can't speak a word...I though she don't mind...borrow a book,it's a little matter.sometime,she really selfish...but maybe this is the characteristic of a human...she scared the trouble come through....maybe....I just wanna say...speechless...or even a cruel word...disappointed~
maybe she hate me fold and make some note on her's book..from this,I really inspire to negative thinking..."ok..!next time don't even borrow book from you!and I with less talk with you...because u try first!"but please..you know ,I'm in the dilemma situation...I don't know what I need to do..!